It is often hard to accomplish things when we feel we are alone. We may use this as an excuse not to attempt things. I spent several years of my life not doing the things I wanted and telling myself that I was waiting to meet someone that I could share them with.

I now realize that I was guilty of trying to find my satisfaction in someone else. I was simply giving in to my fears and using my being alone as an excuse. There is an art to relationships. It is said that love is two becoming one while remaining two.

It is also said that relationships are give and take. I submit that the perfect relationship is about giving. Not 50/50 but 100/100. The joy comes from doing what you can to make the other happy. Many will think that means giving up something, but it does not.

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we know that what you receive by giving is far more than the giving itself. The most successful people are those who give the most.

Having someone who has your best interests at heart makes life so much easier. Marriage is like heaven when it works and like hell when it does not. All relationship can be compared to marriage on some level.

Connecting with people who have the same or similar goals can make the accomplishment of those goals easier. Exercising with another makes it easier for both. They motivate each other and makes the other accountable. It is much harder to disappoint someone else than one’s self. Joining force creates a sense of responsibility.

For this to be it is not necessary that both do the same exercises only to work out at the same time or the same place. Of course if you are doing the same exercises it makes it all that much better. This principle can be used to work on any area of one’s life. By joining force with someone who has the same desires and goals make life easier for both.

The concept of combining force with someone to exercise with is the same as combining force with a spouse or loved one. All relationships must contain certain basic ingredients. Honesty is the most important. Openness is another, to the degree of what is being worked on.

The truth is that you are never really alone. The greatest relationship has to be with oneself. Once you have achieved balance with yourself all other relationships are easy. If you are at peace with yourself you do not need someone else to motivate you or make you accountable, you just are.

With that accountability within self it becomes second nature to achieve success in the way that is for you. It is at this point that you become the motivator of others and are able to be of service.

TODAY’S TIP: Take an honest look at your relationships. Determine which ones are true and based on love and respect. Also determine which are for dependency or some other reason that feeds your weaknesses.

How is your relationship with self?

Are you familiar with the book, “Zen and the Art of Archery?” For those who are not it is about a technique to improve the skills of archers in ancient Japan.

The targets were suspended and swung from side to side. The archer would stand the required distance from the target, but instead of shooting arrows at the target would visualize the process of shooting the arrows. He would see himself notch his arrow, draw his bow and release his arrow. In his mind he would see the arrow hit the target, dead center.

When I started to study archery this book was recommended to me. I was already familiar with visualization so knew it would work.

Some years ago this concept was taken to another level. A group of professional basketball players were divided into two groups. One group went to the gym every day and practiced the skills of the game. The other group did not set foot in a gym, they spent the same amount of time but practiced only in their minds.

At the end of the experiment both groups came together to see how each group had improved. To the surprise of all, the group that practiced only in their minds out performed the group that went to the gym everyday.

What does this mean? Well, it goes to show the awesome power of the mind. The mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is not. The mind can be a powerful tool in manifesting our desires and for improving the skills we use daily.

We visualize all the time. For the untrained mind most of the visualizations are what we call daydreaming. If we train our mind so that we direct the visualizations, we can improve the quality of our lives and bring more joy and peace.

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we recognize this and know that visualization can be used to improve our sports skills, improve our health, bring us more money or improve any other area of life.

In order to use visualization to your best advantage you must become disciplined. The best way to do this is to practice meditation regularly. Meditation is of course not necessary to daydream but together, Meditation and visualization is one of the most powerful tools available to us to improve our lives.

Use the screen of your mind to project healthy, happy movies that will transform your reality into the life of your dreams.

TODAY’S TIP: If you want to improve a skill use visualization. Practice daily. You may surprise yourself.

Can you see it now?

Have you noticed that you have an ongoing dialogue in your mind? This is self talk. What you say to yourself determines who you are. What are you telling yourself?

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we recognize that this dialogue is manifesting our future. For many this dialogue is negative. They tell themselves that they want a new car, but cannot afford one. People may go to a job interview and their mind is telling them that they are not qualified or other reasons why they will not get the job.

What you tell yourself will come true. So, if you tell yourself you cannot afford a new house. It will be so. If you tell yourself that you are going to have a new house, with belief, your universe will help you get it.

The best example of the power of self talk is Mohamed Ali. When he was 11 or 12 years old he used to stand in front of the mirror and tell himself how great he was and how his life was going to be when he grew up. He didn’t know anything about self talk but everything he told himself came true.

That is the power of self talk and it works without fail whether we realize it or not. With the awareness of its power we can use it for our good. We can make positive self talk a habit. We can make a habit of telling ourselves how great we are and placing emphasis on our strengths. We can also use self talk to work on strengthening our weaknesses.

Start when you first get out of bed. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself good things about you. Continue this all day and go to bed telling yourself how successful and happy you are.

Remember that the mind can not tell what is real and what is not. It will believe anything you tell it. You only have to keep telling yourself and in time you will believe it. In this way we can persuade ourselves to believe that which we want to believe.

Set your intention to engage only in positive self talk. Once that intention is firmly in place you can then start to cultivate the habit of positive self talk.

At first you will have to think about it and every time you do think of it tell yourself something good. Tell yourself how successful you are and how good you feel. If you consciously do this for a while it will become habit and you no longer have to think about it. Repetition becomes habit.

Use the big four daily and your life cannot help but improve. The big four are meditation, visualization, affirmations, and positive self talk.

TODAY’S TIP: Seek ways to improve your life daily. The more you seek the more you will find.

Are you ready for a new life?

We have talked about meditation and visualization. There is one more technique that ranks along side these two. It is affirmations. These three; meditation, visualization, and affirmations, make an unstoppable team in manifesting one’s reality.

This is so important that I am going to use two quotes today.

“As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours — firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes — over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” ~Scott Reed ~

I have included the second quote because I think it sums it up. It is the complete explanation of how affirmations work. You can program your mind to believe just about anything. This is why there are cults whose beliefs are so far away from the normal concepts.

To use affirmations successfully you must be sure you are programing something that you really want. Affirmations must be concise and simply worded. Use as few words as possible but be sure that your phrase is inclusive of your idea.

Word your affirmations as if they have already happened. Example; I am, not I will be. The two most powerful words in affirmations are, I am. As I run I repeat; I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise.

While you are exercising is a good time to repeat your affirmations. Synchronize the words to your steps or movements. I use one word for one step. Find your rhythm. Speak your sentence on the exhale. It can be out loud or spoken in your mind. You want to make sure the sentence you are using can be spoken in one exhale.

Start your day by looking into your eyes in the mirror and repeating your affirmations. End your day the same way. Then repeat your affirmations through out the day as often as you can.

There is a train of thought that believes that you must repeat your affirmation at least 36,000 times for it to become effective. So you can see that the more often you repeat it during the day the sooner you will start seeing results.

Here is a technique to help you get the benefit of your affirmations sooner. Record your affirmations on an endless loop tape, like the ones in some answering machines. Purchase a Pillow speaker and play your affirmations while you sleep. Your mind is most receptive during sleep.

Here is an affirmation to start with, until you have decided on your personal ones:

“Today, I recognize my own strength and power and have the courage to do things I have never done before. I am full of belief, both in myself and my abilities and in the help which surrounds me at every turn. I am courageous, strong and capable and I can do whatever it is I wish to do.”

This affirmation is too long to repeat while exercising but could be recorded and played at night.

TODAY’S TIP: Write out your affirmations on 3 x 5 cards and keep them with you during your day. This will make it easy to read until you have memorized them.

What will you affirm?

I think that one of the most difficult things we face in creating our dream life is the ability to stay focused. We are continually distracted by things going on in our lives. Also our minds roam from one thing to another, quite often beyond our control.

This can make it very difficult because it is necessary to remain focused on our dreams and aspirations in order to make them a reality. The more time we devote on our endeavors the better our chances of success.

This is why it is important to cultivate an attitude of perseverance and project our vision into the future. It is also important that we not spend too much time in the future because everything happens in the now. There is a fine line between living in the now and spending too much time planning for the future.

It is best to set aside some time everyday to sit with ourselves and project into the future. Only 10 or 15 minutes is necessary, once or twice a day. During these times see your life as you want it to be. Make it like a movie and see yourself preforming some task or experiencing some event. Make it as real as possible by seeing it, smelling it, hearing it and tasting it.

As you do this consistently you will notice that it becomes more detailed and clear. This is how things begin to be projected into your reality and become a part of your life.

If you find that picture changes often it is an indication that you do not have clarity of vision. If that is the case you must rethink your goals and desires to make absolutely certain that it is something you truly want. Do not be afraid of change but be weary of constant change in your vision.

You must be consistent. Stick with one thing long enough for it to work. If you cannot stick with it, it may mean that you do not believe in it or yourself. It can also mean that you are afraid of success or failure. If you feel that this is the case be honest with yourself and take steps to work through it.

The greatest tool one has to maintain focus is meditation. Meditation, if consistently practiced, leads to control over one’s mind and thoughts. With control it is easier put forth the discipline needed for success.

When you are projecting your vision into the future it is not meditation, it is visualization. Visualization and meditation are different, although they can be practiced in the same sitting. It is important that both be practiced each day.

TODAY’S TIP: Write out a scenario of how it will be when you have achieved your goals. Use this as your scene for visualization.

Where will you be in five years?

There is a lot of talk and information about meditation available. I will not bore you with a lot of detailed in depth explanation of meditation. But, I do believe that everyone would benefit from its practice. Here are some of the benefits that come from regular practice of meditation:

• Calms the mind.
• Relaxes the body.
• Helps eliminate stress.
• Helps control your thoughts.
• Aids mind, body health and wellness.
• Brings clarity and awareness.

These are only some of the benefits of meditation. There are many more as you will discover once you have been practicing for awhile. Overall life just seems to flow easier to those who meditate.

Meditation is easy to begin but often very hard to continue. The reason for this is that in the beginning the mind and body will fight you because the mind does not want to be controlled. I suggest that you commit to six months of practice with no expectations.

The reason for that is it may take two or three months to feel that you are making any progress. At first your mind will wander and your body will become restless. You must let them know that you are serious and this is not just another phase that you will try for a while then give up.

When the mind wanders simply notice what you are thinking about and refocus. When the body becomes restless move a little or adjust your posture. Do not quit. Set a time length and sit there for that time, no matter how restless you become.

Begin with at least 5 minutes, but no more than 20. When you are able to sit for 5 minutes without becoming restless then go for 10 minutes and so on. You can sit on the floor on a pillow with your legs crossed if able or you can sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and hands on your thighs.

Refocus your mind whenever you need to. Do not worry about how often this happens. As you progress it will happen less often, until you are able to spend the time with a completely still and calm mind.

One thing that will help is to meditate at the same time and the same place daily. Once your mind and body except that you are not going to give up they will start to help you.

As I said, it may take several months before you are able to spend 20 or 30 minutes in complete mediation. When this happens you will start to experience miracles in your life. You will feel better, be calmer, and be able to act in more decisive ways and with more clarity.

Tomorrow I will talk about some of the different techniques for meditation.

TODAY’S TIP: Start your meditation practice today. The sooner you start the sooner you will start seeing the benefits.

Will you commit the next six months to daily meditation?

I remember the lesson I learned when I became a homeowner. When things started to go wrong there was no manager to call. I had to deal with the problems. I had to either call a repairman or do the work myself. It was then that I learned how much I could do.

I remember when the house needed painting on the outside. My wife and I were discussing it and she says, “we don’t need to hire anyone we can do it ourselves.” I knew what that “we” meant. Well I decided to tackle the job and was surprised and pleased when I finished. If I do say so myself, I did a very good job. You can not tell that it was done by an amateur unless you look closely.

I was able to do a good job because I researched the project before I started. I went online and talked to the people at the paint store. The research gave me confidence in my ability to do the job.

This story illustrates that you never know how capable you are until you attempt to do it. Most of us sell ourselves short as far as our capabilities are concerned. We tell ourselves that we can not do something without opening our minds to the possibilities.

This is a theme though out all areas of life. Many never reach their full potential because they tell themselves that they can not do something without even trying. You can do it, all you have to do is believe.

We are creatures of unlimited potential. What would have happened if Edison had not tried to make the electric light because he told himself he could not do it, after all it had never been done?

What have you left undone because you didn’t think you could? What do you dream of that you tell yourself will never be because you can not do it?

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we know that there is nothing we can not do if we really want to do it. We know that there is nothing we can not have if we want it bad enough. Bad enough to do what ever it takes to make it a part of our reality.

The great thing about life is that there is always more. We can never do it all so it is our choice what we want to experience. What more do you want to experience?

Open your heart and mind, over come the fear, and go for life. You can do it and have it if only you will dare to dream. Then determine to do what is needed to accomplish your desire.

If you need more education, get it. If you need more money, figure a way to get it. If you need more courage, confront your fear and move through it. You can do it if you can see it in your mind and feel it in your heart.

TODAY’S TIP: Use positive self talk to build confidence and remove barriers. If you repeat it enough, you will believe it.

Do you have the courage?

We all have many habits, some good and some bad. In The Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we cultivate habits that serve us and make our lives better. Anything that you do repeatedly becomes a habit. In time you get to the point that you don’t have to think about it, you just do it.

We need to take a look at our habits periodically and determine which ones are serving us an which ones are not. Take a look at those that do not serve us and decide if they need to be released or replaced with other habits that do serve.

Have you had someone tell you that you need to change your habits? Well, unfortunately you can not change a habit. It must be replaced with another habit, even if that habit is simply not to engage the habit. For instance, if you smoke and want to stop, success would be developing the habit of not smoking.

It is said that if you engage in something daily it will take about six weeks for it to become a habit. Once something becomes a habit it becomes easier to do regularly.

When you start meditating, in about six weeks of daily practice it becomes a habit and it becomes easier to meditation. This is because the body and mind start to expect you to meditate and begin to help you.

The same is true for exercise. If you exercise daily, or six days a week because this is the most you want to exercise a week, your body will start to expect it and help you.

The reason you do not want to exercise seven days a week is because the body needs at least one day a week to recuperate. If you exercise every day you will find that you burn out after a while and are more likely to begin skipping workouts or just quitting.

To establish a habit it is helpful to perform the task at the same time and place if possible. For instance, meditate at the same time each morning and in the same place. Exercise at the same time each day.

When establishing a habit it is necessary to be disciplined and put forth the energy to perform the task. As you progress it will take less energy or discipline until it becomes habit, then it becomes almost something that you do not think about but do almost automatically.

It is also important to not try to do too much in establishing a habit. Just as working our everyday without a break, trying to do too much will have the same effect. Choose the habits you wish to have with care and use ceremony and ritual to make it easier and more fun.

TODAY’S TIP: Start cultivating the habit of doing 5 or 10 minutes of deep breathing each morning when you first get. The benefits of this simple habit will render many benefits that make your days more enjoyable.

What habits do you want to replace?

It cannot be stressed too often that you are a product of your thoughts. Therefore your life and your reality depends on what you think. Most people are mentally lazy, therefore their thoughts are random and pure chance. They exhibit no control over their thoughts so their thoughts control them.

When people do not control their thoughts it is reflected in their lives. Their realities seem to be dictated by chance and are sometimes like a roller coaster, ups and downs. They are often devastated by the downs and do not recognize and appreciate the ups.

I am sure you know people who complain about anything and everything or always blame someone else for their problems. It they are close to you, as family or friend, it may be very difficult to not buy into their problems and let them bring you down.

It is important to maintain a distance from the complainers. It can be hard because there is a fine line between protecting yourself and appearing cold and uncaring. It can be as simple as saying, “I understand and I am sorry, but can we talk about some of the good things in your life.”

On the other hand, if you are able to control your thoughts you are able to have more control over your reality and your life. Things go smoother and you get better results. That is not to say that there will be no downs in your life, but those downs will not seem so incapacitating and insurmountably.

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we except the fact that you create your reality with your thoughts. It is within your power to create the reality you wish to have. This is done by controlling your thoughts.

Think only the thoughts you want to think. This may seem impossible, but with practice it becomes possible. Putting focused energy into meditation and changing your thoughts when you think of something that does not serve you is the key.

Control will not come in an instant but over time with dedication and perseverance it will become a part of your daily habits. How much are you dissatisfied with the life you are now living or how bad do you want to live the life you dream of?

TODAY’S TIP: Take a good look at where you are in life and decide if it is where you want to be or not. If not set your intention on getting to where you want to be.

Are you willing to put forth the effort?

Life is a mind game. Everything that happens in life begins in the mind. You think about going to a movie before you actually do. You think of going to bed before you actually start getting ready. You thing about buying a new car before you buy it.

You get the point? The problem many of us face is that we are not totally aware of what is going on in our minds. We don’t pay attention much of the time. There is an exercise that I sometimes have my clients do.

The exercise is to buy a 3 x 5 notebook and carry it with a pencil at all times for two weeks. Then any time you think about it write what you are thinking about at that moment down in your book. At the end of two weeks read the entries in your book.

Most people will see that the majority of their thoughts have little or no value in their life. Many have a negative effect in that they are frivolous or make them feel less than good. Try this exercise for yourself and you will see what I mean.

It is said that our minds are either our best friend or our worse enemy, depending on whether we control it or it controls us. For most of us our minds are in control most of the time.

In the Ultimate Healthy Lifestyle we realize that in order to make our dreams come true we must control our thoughts. We must think thoughts that make our lives more beneficial to ourselves and those around us.

There are two things we can do to give us more control over our minds and our thoughts. The first is meditation and then practice.

One of the greatest and most useful things we can do for ourselves is regular meditation. Daily meditation trains our mind to become more disciplined and we gain the ability to think thoughts we want to think instead of thoughts that seem to just pop into our mind.

Then practicing each and every day to think only those thoughts we want to think. This may seem difficult at first but the more you practice the easier it becomes. When you think a thought that does not feel good, think a thought that feels better.

We will talk more about these two things in the next couple of posts. In the meanwhile think about this and don’t forget to dream.

TODAY’S TIP: Start to become aware of more of your thoughts. This will prove to be a rewarding endeavor.

What are you thinking?