How many of us see ourselves as we really are? We are many people rolled into one. We see ourselves in one way and each other person has their own image of us, depending on our interactions.

How we see ourselves is one of the strongest forces at work in our lives. Many of us have been scarred emotionally and mentally as we grew up. The scars range from minor to devastating.

Some were abused by a spouse or parents. This can disable us for a good part of our life. Some never get over it. They remain victims all their lives.

Our society has made it all right to be a victim. How long should it last? When is the time to take control over one’s life and start living a positive and productive life.

Some were simply talked down to or told they were worthless. Even this can be difficult to overcome. Sometimes we don’t realize the devastation that was caused by well meaning parents and peers.

Whatever the case and where ever you are is all right. It simply becomes necessary to look within with openness and honesty. Feel the pain and deep buried hurt. Accept it and set your intention to rise above it and overcome it.

Recognize who you are. Recognize your power. As a child you did not have control, but as an adult you do. You just need to take back your power.

You do this by acknowledging that you are a divine human being and as such  have the right to anything that is apart of this physical world. All you have to do is desire it and be willing to do what is necessary to achieve it.

Look into the mirror, deep into your eyes, to your soul and see the things buried there that have keep you from living your life to the fullest.

Some teach that you must go back to the source of the pain before you can overcome it. This is not necessary, you only have to release it, bless it and forgive those involved. Then don’t forget to forgive yourself.

The most important thing is for you to feel good. Feel good about yourself, about life and about the world. Do what you must to make that your reality.

Love yourself. You deserve it simply by being here. There is no one more important than you. The more you love yourself, the more you are capable of loving someone else.

TODAY’S TIP: Do practice random acts of kindness. The more you do the more you can appreciate your life.

How will you see yourself tomorrow?

This week will be devoted to healing, self healing to be specific. It is important to understand that all healing is self healing.

Doctors do not heal, healers do not heal, medicines do not heal. Only you can heal you.

In order to heal several things must be in place. The first is the desire to be healed. Many people would sat that everyone who is sick has the desire to be healed, but that is not so. Even some who think that they want to be healed do not.

Let me explain. A person can think in their mind that they want to be healed but in their subconscious they think that they do not deserve to be healed. Some people are using their sickness to punish themselves for some wrong committed in their past. These wrongs may be real or imagined.

The power to heal lies in the mind of the beholder. Mainstream medicine will tell you that some diseases cannot be healed. Yet we see them cured everyday. Medicine will say, well those are miracles.

It depends on how you look at miracles. Miracles happen every day. You will have miracles in your life if you believe in them. If you believe you can be healed, you can be healed.

First we need to understand why we get sick. As Divine beings there is no reason that we should get sick. We manifest our sicknesses for a reason. They represent a lesson that we need to learn.

By the time a sickness starts to show physical symptoms it may have been many years in the making. All illness begin as either emotional or mental dis-ease.  If the problem is not dealt with it festers and grows until it becomes a physical illness.

The only thing a doctor or healer can do is help you to heal yourself, if you are ready to be healed. Here is an example of how it is different for each of us.

Ten people go to the doctor with the same symptoms. The doctor prescribes the same thing to each of them The results will differ. Some will be healed completely, some partially, and some will not feel any effect from the prescription. The difference is in the mind of the beholder.

Your sickness is the result of some emotion or mental dis-ease that you have not dealt with. This is why when you go to the doctor and the symptoms are cured often the illness will return. Mainstream medicine treats symptoms, but rarely the causes.

You have the power to heal yourself. First you must love yourself, then you must forgive yourself and let go of the memories of the past that are causing the symptoms.

You must believe that you are worthy to be well and enjoy the fruits that life has to offer.

There is an expanded awareness happening that health is a part of our heritage and we are meant to be healthy and happy in our lives.

TODAY’S TIP: The power of healing is taking a giant leap forward. Just take a look at this: Zero Field energy.

Are you ready to heal?

I just wanted to apologize for the break in my posts. It was not planned but I will not bore you with the details. I only want to say that I will begin posting again regularly on Monday June, 7. I hope you will return at that time.

Next week we will talk about dreams and desires. Following that we will build on the process of accomplishing those dreams.

For now I leave you with this story:

A Sioux Indian Story

My grandfather took me to the fish pond on the farm when I was about seven, and he told me to throw a stone into the water. He told me to watch the circles created by the stone. Then he asked me to think of myself as that stone person.

“You may create lots of splashes in your life but the waves that come from those splashes will disturb the peace of all your fellow creatures,” he said.

“Remember that you are responsible for what you put in your circle and that circle will also touch many other circles. You will need to live in a way that allows the good that comes from your circle to send the peace of that goodness to others. The splash that comes from anger or jealousy will send those feelings to other circles. You are responsible for both.”

That was the first time I realized each person creates the inner peace or discord that flows out into the world. We cannot create world peace if we are riddled with inner conflict, hatred, doubt, or anger. We radiate the feelings and thoughts that we hold inside, whether we speak them or not. Whatever is splashing around inside of us is spilling out into the world, creating beauty or discord with all other circles of life.

Remember the eternal wisdom:

Whatever You Focus On Expands.

– Author Unknown

TODAY’S TIP: Life is unlimited; the only thing that limits it is you.

Are you expanding?

All relationships are not meant to last a lifetime. Knowing when it is time to leave and having the courage to do so is a blessing.

Learning To Let Go With Love By Priya Shah

One of the hardest things for any person, man or woman, is letting go of a relationship that’s not meant to be. We are often attached to the illusion that this person is “the One” for us, and that if we don’t have him or her, we’ll never find somebody new.

Holding on to disappointment, hurt, blame, anger, resentment, and bitterness, we convince ourselves that “all men are jerks” or “all women are bitches.”

If you’ve just got out of a relationship and are harbouring a lot of resentment against your partner or against the opposite sex, now is NOT the time to start dating again. Your anger and bitterness will poison even the most loving relationship.

When we hang on to baggage from past relationships, we end up projecting our pain on to others in our lives – our families, children and, eventually, our new partners.

Our emotional baggage is usually rooted in our relationships with our own parents, or in bad relationships we’ve had in the past. We have to lighten our load and heal our pain before we can love again.

Some of the practices you need to cultivate in order to heal yourself are:

• Radical Personal Responsibility: Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship, either by taking inappropriate action, not acting altogether or expecting too much. Stop blaming your partner. Own your feelings, so you can change them.

• Self-Awareness: Are there patterns that keep repeating in your relationships? Do you have a tendency to get into relationships with abusive people, or become abusive yourself? Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

• Acceptance: Accept yourself and your partner the way you are. Accept the fact that the relationship was not meant to be, that it didn’t work because it was not your highest and best.

• Forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.

• Gratitude: Be grateful that you’re out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you’ve learned from your partner.

• Compassion: Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you’ll become less judgmental.

• Detachment: Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.

• Independence: Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself. Learn to meet your own needs, let go of expectations, and enter a healthy, inter-dependent relationship.

• Optimism: Optimism is not essential, but it makes life so much easier. An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best, can help you bounce back from your loss. Have faith that the best is yet to come.

It takes a lot of tears, hard work, and introspection to break the chains of the past. But it’s worth every moment! The feeling of freedom and contentment that you experience is just awesome.

Getting rid of your anger and hurt will help you stop blaming others for your pain, and allowed you to see your former partner as they really are – a wonderful, sensitive human being with the capacity to love, to care, and to hurt just as deeply as you.

It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.

No time spent in a relationship is ever wasted. Ever experience is a lesson and only when you learn the lesson will you progress to the next level. So stop beating yourself up over all the years you “wasted” with that “loser.”

If it didn’t work, it was probably not meant to be. You can’t force someone to love you, just as you can’t force commitment or marriage. These are stages that should happen naturally, when it feels right for both people.

Contrary to popular opinion (and sad love songs) love is not meant to hurt. If you’re in pain, what you’re experiencing is not love, but attachment or codependence. Too often we fall in love, not with our partner, but with the IDEA of being in love.

It’s best to let go of a relationship that’s causing too much pain. Instead of wallowing in the past and writing your own sad love song, do your inner work, get rid of the anger and disappointment and get on with your life.

Let go of your partner with love, so you can move past your hurt and learn to love again.

Copyright © Priya Florence Shah Priya Florence Shah manages India’s first portal for empowered women and blogs about self-improvement and spirituality. Click here for relationship tips and advice. This article may be reprinted as long as the resource box is left intact and all links are hyperlinked.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Priya_Shah

TODAY’S TIP: When the relationship no longer feels good it is time to take a good look at it. If it is time to leave, be honest and have the courage to do so.

How is you relationship?

Now that we have spent a week talking about forgiveness I hope you realize how important it is to live with a heart filled with forgiveness.

There may be people you have encountered in your life journey that you thought you could never forgive for the wrong they have done to you or the hurt they have caused. To not forgive them does not hurt them, it hurts you.

To hold anger and resentment in your heart feeds on your life force. We were meant to enjoy life, to learn and grow. Holding on to the anger keeps us locked in a place where  growth is not possible.

I am sure you, as I, have seen people who profess to be Christian, yet have hardened hearts that cry out for revenge. That is certainly not a Christian value. Yet they are encouraged and supported by others.

I hope that you will have the courage to live with forgiveness in your heart. Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. Forgiveness and love feeds your life force and thereby makes for a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

Commit to forgiving all who have done wrong to you. List all who have hurt you in any way. Take the names on your list one at a time and forgive them. Form a picture of them in your mind and tell them you forgive them, you love them and bless them. Do this with conviction and feeling.

Then with each name, after you have forgiven them be sure to forgive yourself for any contribution you make to that situation. Remember the common denominator in all your experiences is you. You contribute to every thing that happens to you so take responsibility for your part.

Radiate love to the people you have forgiven and then feel the love encompass you. Feel the weight being lifted from your shoulders. Love is much lighter than anger and hate. Love is much easier to carry through life.

Once you have truly forgiven those in your life you will experience a change that will fill you with love and appreciation for what life has to offer. You will feel energized and refreshed. Accomplishing forgiveness will truly liberate you.

Have you heard of Ho’oponopono?  It is a healing system from Hawaii. You repeat this phrase, “I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, God bless you, Thank you.” Repeat this phrase for a minute or so and see how it feels. It is very healing if you can get into it. Of course there is more to it, research it.

TODAY’S TIP: Practice forgiveness and you will brighten your life and those around you.

Do you need forgiveness?

There is power in combining gratitude with forgiveness. Here is an article on that power.

The Secret of Gratitude and Forgiveness by Gregory Hand

There are two exciting, untapped powers in the universe that are at everyone’s disposal. They are gratitude and forgiveness. They are both powers that allow you to restructure your relationship to the universe and to amplify your ability to attract to yourself the good that is allotted to you. The two powers are closely connected.

A minister once talked about stumbling around in his backyard at night with a flashlight- looking for a small Christmas tree that he needed to bring in the house. In his search, by accident he knocked over the tree and its stand. In fumbling around to pick it up, he got a lot of sap on his hands. Now, as you know, sap is very difficult to get off your hands. You have to wash them a lot and you still may not get it off. So these tiny amounts of annoying, sticky sap can stay on your hands for days.

Feelings of revenge, un-forgiveness, and blame are like sap. They can linger within us for a long time, filling us with negativity and self-pity and keeping us from our good. Once we have collected these feelings, we must diligently work to get rid of them. This could require a great deal of effort. One useful exercise is to visualize someone you cannot forgive standing on stage in a spotlight. The spotlight represents your efforts to bathe them in love and forgiveness no matter what they have done to you. Even though this exercise may not have a notable effect on them, it can certainly on you. It will help you wash clean of the sap of un-forgiveness.

Part of the value of getting rid of un-forgiveness and blame is that it opens the door to gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful emotion, which can release you from a negative bonding with the universe. Focus on the good things instead of the bad and you can attract great good in your life. But, if you are weighted down with un-forgiveness, it is hard to open the door to gratitude.

But, if you succeed- and you can open the door, now you need to really focus on gratitude, just like you did with forgiveness. One interesting methodology, which is suggested in the recent film, The Secret, is to utilize an artifact to remind you to focus in the first place and to stimulate you to focus intently. An interesting scene in the movie The Secret, which speaks about how a simple rock, when used in association with the gratitude, you can enhance your positive connection to the universe. By focusing on Gratitude one can open up a door to the power of attraction inherent in the nature of things- to those who truly understand that such a power for good exists in our world.

The Law of Attraction functions best when energized by gratitude and forgiveness, two interconnected, positive powers in the universe.

Author Resource:- Greg Hand believes you can govern events you attract in your world through positive thinking and the touch the live’s of others. http://www.mygratituderock.com site is inspired by The movie The Secret.

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TODAY’S TIP: Take out your list and start at the top. With each name form a picture of that person in your mind, then say to them, “I am sorry for the part I played in this experience, I forgive you, God bless you, I love you.”

How many have you forgiven?

Access the Healing Power of Forgiveness by Eve Delunas

I will always remember the moment I first began to forgive my father. It was early one bright Sunday morning in June and I was driving to San Jose to teach an all day make-up class in Family Therapy to a group of graduate counseling students. The day before, I had hastily rented a book on tape about “letting go” to keep me company during my four-hour round-trip commute. To my surprise, the entire book was the author’s poignant story of how she had chosen to forgive her father, who sounded like a carbon copy of my own dad.

As I listened to the writer describe her courageous journey toward acceptance and healing, I became acutely aware of the bitterness and pain in my heart that I had kept locked away for decades. I felt my tears begin to wash away the anger, hurt, and resentment I had carried for so long. I suddenly saw my relationship with my father in a new way-through the eyes of my Greater Self. Looking at the big picture of my life, I recognized how my dad had been my most important teacher in this lifetime: coping with his negative behavior towards me both strengthened my sense of self and deepened my level of compassion for those who are suffering. I also found my heart softening to the wounded little boy my alcoholic father hid so well from the world. Lifted by a profound sense of lightness and grace, I could feel the power of forgiveness working its magic in my very being. It wasn’t until I arrived at the university that I realized it was Father’s Day.

Forgiveness is our most potent medicine for self-healing. The light of forgiveness transforms everything it touches. When we forgive, we open the door to miracles in our lives. To forgive is to let go-to completely release any negative thoughts or feelings you have been holding toward your self or another. You say goodbye to hate, resentment, anger, hurt, guilt, and shame. You stop living in the land of “if only” and start accepting “what is” so you can move forward on your life’s path. Forgiveness is a powerful choice you make to be whole again.

It is not only in my own life that I have witnessed the power of forgiveness. In my psychotherapy practice, I have delighted in watching the blessings multiply after my clients make the courageous choice to let go.

Unfortunately, many people do not avail themselves of the healing power of forgiveness because of misconceptions they hold. Some common myths about forgiveness are:

1. The other person has to do something before I can forgive him or her.
If you are waiting for another to recognize he or she has wronged you, you have placed the power to heal yourself in someone else’s hands. Take back the power to set yourself free of the past by choosing to forgive regardless of whether or not the other ever “sees the light.”

2. If I forgive, I am saying what the other person did was okay.
Forgiveness does not send the message that the other’s bad behavior was okay. Rather, it is saying that you are not going to continue to dwell on the past and carry the heavy feelings associated with it. When we lighten our emotional load, we refuse to allow the past to torment us in the present.

3. I must hold positive feelings for the person I am forgiving.
While forgiveness may help to transmute our pain and anger into compassion for the other, it is not necessary to replace the negative feelings you have had towards the other with positive ones. Of primary importance is your willingness to release the negative energy you have been holding towards a person or situation.

4. Forgiveness is something I do for the other.
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It takes a lot of your energy to continue to hold on to negative feelings toward another. Forgiveness releases this energy so you can apply it to more constructive and joyful pursuits.

5. If I forgive, I may get hurt again.
You can let go of the past while holding on to what an experience has taught you. To forgive is to retain the wisdom while releasing the pain associated with the life lesson.

6. I only need to forgive someone once.
Forgiveness is a process, so you may need to let go more than once. Should the negative feelings reappear, be gentle with yourself, and choose to release them one more time.

7. I need to understand why before I can forgive.
Needing to understand why is a trap that can snare you. Life is full of mysteries. You may never understand the whys which underlie another’s behavior. Don’t let that prevent you from releasing the past and moving on with your life.

Your inner guidance is forever urging you to choose the path of healing and joy. When you activate the power of forgiveness, you release any negative hold that the past has had on you. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness, and watch your life transform as it becomes a more perfect reflection of the light that you are.

Author Resource:- Eve Delunas, Ph.D., psychotherapist, author, speaker, trainer.
Breaking the Spell of the Past–Book and Guided Visualization CD set.
Sign up for a FREE monthly ezine called AWAKENINGS.
Go to: http://www.innervisionresources.com

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TODAY’S TIP: Take the list you made up yesterday and list the names in order of those who are easier to forgive and those who are the hardest. Tomorrow you will start forgiving.

Are you ready to forgive?

The power of forgiveness includes healing. When you forgive others you heal parts of yourself. Here is an article on the power of healing through forgiveness.

The Healing Power Of Forgiveness by Saleem Rana

Forgiveness breaks all bounds of repression and depression. It liberates the psyche from bondage to the past.

In fact, I would rank forgiveness as the essence of psychotherapy.

As human beings all our limitations arise from our psychic wounding. This wound has been either intentional or accidental, but it drains our vitality. In fact, if it has been grievous enough, it runs our whole life, and ruins it.

We are creatures designed to absorb and transmit love, and when an unloving act is foisted on us, when someone or something casts a shadow on our capacity to love, we bleed.

War zones, jails, and insane asylums are where the wounded gather. This is where society sends its broken souls. Those who regain their capacity to love will emerge from these places of grief. Those who remain bitter will forever be incarcerated in them, whether or not they have been physically freed.

Those who are whole and well are dedicated to their capacity to love. They cannot kill, hurt, injure or maim another because they have not lost their capacity to see themselves as the other. Ideals do not sway them to injure others, no matter how vaulted the traditions in which those ideals are espoused. No ideal transcends their ideal to be of love and service to their brethren.

The cure for overcoming psychic wounding is to forgive. When we forgive, we pardon; we express mercy; and we liberate our own kindness.

When you forgive, you give forth your power of love to heal the image, memory, or person that distorted your self-image and gave you the false belief that you have been diminished, disempowered, and disenfranchised.

It is the wounded who strike out and wound others. It is the shadow of their own pain that they cast upon others. It is their unlovingness that they extend out of their crippled psyche. They become conduits for the poison that they themselves despise.

All forms of malice, ill-will and cruelty, euphemized in the name of some lofty ideal, come forth from those who speak in the names of righteousness; the crucifixion of Christ could not have come about except for the distorted sense of what is right by the persecutors.

If an act is unloving, no ideal can justify it, for to wound another is to wound ourselves. We create pathos in our wake. We spill grief before us.

How to forgive the unforgivable? How to release the sword of ill-will thrust into our hearts? How to break free of the resentment that has bound our tormentors these many years?

You do it by simply understanding that to for give is a healing for you. It is breaking the karmic bonds. It is an act of self-loving. Forgiveness heals pity, brings reconciliation to that which is broken within, and makes healing possible.

An act of forgiveness can be silent. In fact, it has little to do with the other person. They may or may not feel the psychic release as you drop your smoldering anger, nourished over more years than you care to remember.

When you forgive, you release…you release yourself. You release your attachment to pain. You release your aversion to the act done to you. And when you do this, something magical happens. You set yourself free.

It is never about whether the other person or event deserves your forgiveness. It is about your going free from your own web of negativity. When you forgive, you staunch the bleeding. When you forgive, you open up your heart and regain your capacity to love. And when you learn to love, your life opens up like a glorious dream. The question, ultimately, is never whether you should or should not forgive…instead the question is always this: do you deserve to be happy right now by letting it go.

Author Resource:- Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It’s a shareware article.
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TODAY’S TIP: Make a list of all the people you can remember who have hurt you in life. This is the first step to forgiveness.

Are you willing to forgive?

This week we focus on the most liberating and empowering thing we can do for ourselves. That is forgiveness. Without forgiveness we are unable to live our lives to the fullest and will most likely harbor must negativity which takes away from our lives.

It is said that for each minute of anger you lose a minute of life. This I can believe because anger and other negative emotions cause trauma to the body in the form of stress. We have heard the statement, “Stress Kills.”

If you can live your life in a state of constant forgiveness you harbor only love and the body is relaxed and calm. This state adds to life. The more forgiveness the more joyous your life.

We all have been hurt or taken advantage of  in our lives. All experiences are meant to be learning and growing experiences. It is not what happens to us that is important but how we react or don’t react to them.

If we can condition ourselves to not react we do two things. First and most important we save ourselves from the stress of negativity and second we take away the satisfaction of those who are trying to get us to react, usually in a negative way.

Eric Fromm in his book, “The Art of Loving,” says that in order for a mother to love her child she must love all children and in order for a man to love a woman he must love all women. This is very profound, he is saying that in order to love another person we must love all people.

We cannot truly love another if we harbor negative feelings about that person. Jesus commanded that we forgive our enemies. This must be done if we are to live our lives in unconditional love.

Unconditional love is living our lives with our hearts filled with love. without any preconceived notions or expectations. Unconditional love is giving others the space to be who they are, even with their shortcomings.

We may not like what another is doing at times but we must respect their right to live their life as they choose. If what they are doing is more than we can stand then we should not include them in our life. But, we should not hold any emotions or thoughts of negativity against them because that is only hurting ourselves.

We are responsible for our life and our life only. As long as we put forth the effort to live our lives to the best of our ability and fill our space with as much love as possible we are living a good life.

So forgive those who have wronged you or hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. Forgive them and bless them.

Also remember that the most important part of forgiveness is often overlooked. That is forgiving one’s self. Get in touch with those hidden feelings of guilt and shame and forgive yourself.

TODAY’S TIP: Repeat this phrase often during the day. I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you. You are saying this to yourself, about yourself.

Have you forgiven?