How did your new year start? Have you turned over a new leaf? I hope you are not one of those who made New Year’s Resolutions and can feel them start to weaken.

I hope you enjoyed your holidays. We look forward to them, but sometimes we are glad when they are over. Anyway, it is time to get back to work. Are you ready?

Today I would like to talk about action. After the movie “The Secret” came out some people were talking about the missing piece. The Secret discussed the Law of Attraction but some felt that it did not cover all of the parts. They felt that something was left out.

That something was action. In other words you can go through all the steps of the Law of Attraction and have nothing happen. Because of the way the material was presented, many thought that they only had to ask and it would be given to them as if by magic.

They thought that they did not have to do anything. That their desires would materialize out of thin air or fall from the sky. Well as the bible says, “God helps those who help themselves.” This requires action.

Action may take many forms.The main action may be clearing your mind to be more receptive to the laws of the Universe. This plays to the other law that goes hand in hand with the Law of Attraction.

The law of allowing must be practiced along with attraction in order for manifestation to happen. Opening up to allowing means, as it has sometimes been stated, “becoming one with the universe.”

Remember that everything is energy and energy travels as vibrations. For anything to happen energy must travel in a circle and it must flow smoothly. We put obstacles in the way of that happening with our states of consciousness.

When we feel unworthy or undeserving; when we harbor guilt or anger, jealousy or hate, these feeling get in the way of the flow of Universal energy. This is because the foundation of Universal Energy is love.

To truly be able to practice the Law of Attraction you must have come to terms with life and your place in it. You are here to experience and enjoy your physical journey through life. To do this you must love life, love self and love everything in life. You must be grateful for having the opportunity to live and appreciate each day.

Love is the highest vibration available to us and will allow all other vibrations to move freely through our personal Universe. It is with love that we can attract anything that we desire in our lives.

TODAY’S TIP: Do it today. Practice love and compassion. Have the courage to open up to the goodness of life.

How much do you appreciate?

This week will be devoted to healing, self healing to be specific. It is important to understand that all healing is self healing.

Doctors do not heal, healers do not heal, medicines do not heal. Only you can heal you.

In order to heal several things must be in place. The first is the desire to be healed. Many people would sat that everyone who is sick has the desire to be healed, but that is not so. Even some who think that they want to be healed do not.

Let me explain. A person can think in their mind that they want to be healed but in their subconscious they think that they do not deserve to be healed. Some people are using their sickness to punish themselves for some wrong committed in their past. These wrongs may be real or imagined.

The power to heal lies in the mind of the beholder. Mainstream medicine will tell you that some diseases cannot be healed. Yet we see them cured everyday. Medicine will say, well those are miracles.

It depends on how you look at miracles. Miracles happen every day. You will have miracles in your life if you believe in them. If you believe you can be healed, you can be healed.

First we need to understand why we get sick. As Divine beings there is no reason that we should get sick. We manifest our sicknesses for a reason. They represent a lesson that we need to learn.

By the time a sickness starts to show physical symptoms it may have been many years in the making. All illness begin as either emotional or mental dis-ease.  If the problem is not dealt with it festers and grows until it becomes a physical illness.

The only thing a doctor or healer can do is help you to heal yourself, if you are ready to be healed. Here is an example of how it is different for each of us.

Ten people go to the doctor with the same symptoms. The doctor prescribes the same thing to each of them The results will differ. Some will be healed completely, some partially, and some will not feel any effect from the prescription. The difference is in the mind of the beholder.

Your sickness is the result of some emotion or mental dis-ease that you have not dealt with. This is why when you go to the doctor and the symptoms are cured often the illness will return. Mainstream medicine treats symptoms, but rarely the causes.

You have the power to heal yourself. First you must love yourself, then you must forgive yourself and let go of the memories of the past that are causing the symptoms.

You must believe that you are worthy to be well and enjoy the fruits that life has to offer.

There is an expanded awareness happening that health is a part of our heritage and we are meant to be healthy and happy in our lives.

TODAY’S TIP: The power of healing is taking a giant leap forward. Just take a look at this: Zero Field energy.

Are you ready to heal?

We end this week with an article on how unconditional love can transform your life.

Unconditional Love – The Transforming Power of Unconditional Love By Alicia Isaacs

You’ve heard the words “I love you” so many times that it seems that the deep meaning of it has become superficial in its usage. But there’s love that is profound, constant and unconditional and it is from and out of this love that we have emerged. We’ve come from the heart of love and in remaining connected to the Source is where we find our life and sustenance.

Allow the fire of perfect love to radiate and burn within your inner being. Let it consume your soul, transform your mind and express itself through your body through focused thought and intention. It has always been there as a part of you and you begin to experience it when you are consciously aware of the connection to Love’s existence and turn full face towards Love in order to experience the warmth.

If this love is a part of us why then is it not more evidenced in our world? If you’ve ever observed an infant – they do everything instinctively. You don’t need to tell an infant when it’s time to begin to roll over or learn to crawl or walk. Neither do you have to educate them about love. They love you unconditionally. They quickly forgive and never hold a grudge. But as they continue to grow they’re reconditioned by society’s way of thinking, no longer the innocence of love – then they begin to adapt and lose the true essence of their original heritage.

We were all there at one point but have drawn away and/or moved away from living a life of true love. We’ve collected a lot of debris of judgment, anger, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness that have blocked our communication with our Source of Love and have therefore stopped the flow of Love from entering our lives. We’ve now adapted to a superficial love that says, “I love you if you love me. I love you because you’re cute or I love you because you are rich, or because you make me feel so good inside.”

True love goes way beyond these conditions and says, “I love you because I love you and nothing can change that. I love you in spite of and not because of.” We have moved so far away from what is truth that the truth we embrace is so marred by the debris in our lives that when true unconditional love comes it’s hardly recognizable because we’ve grown used to the false identity and definition of love.

A call to return to love

It’s time that we return to the Source of Love that we may be transformed in the presence of Love and Love’s embrace.

How do you experience Love?

You experience this power because you desire it, you long for it, you summon it and Love comes to you. When you move away from it, you move away from the Source of the fire, the heat and passion of love and you begin to feel cold. Many people are cold. Some experience spurts of warmth but they never come close enough to experience the intensity and passion of Divine love. When you have, there is still much more to experience. When you come to that place where you remain in the intensity of love, you experience new levels of ecstasy you never thought possible.

Experience the Ultimate Love

It’s called the setting of yourself aside to surrender to and experience ultimate love. It satisfies, it thrills, it’s joy fulfillment, it’s deep inner peace. It’s the wanting or needing of nothing else – the satisfaction of your entire being.

Have you ever experienced a love so deep it burns to the core of your inner being? It’s like walking around with an inner campfire but never being consumed by it. It saturates your being to the point you need to take a deep breath so you can breathe or you ask for a second just so you can catch your breath? Come take a journey with me to the depths of your soul and experience the true flames of love.

Experience Love like you’ve never known, peace and joy in abundance and satisfaction unlimited. Once you’ve tasted, you’ll always desire to return, but why leave? You could remain there – you could live there and experience new levels of ecstasy in its purity.

To learn more simple doable step-by-step strategies, that will get you from where you are to where you want to be and experience a transformed life, I invite you to claim your free ebook Changing Inside Out Now! The Power of Unconditional Love and get access to regular life-changing strategies at http://www.changinginsideoutnow.com.

From Alicia Isaacs – Changing Inside Out Now!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alicia_Isaacs

TODAY’S TIP: Do not give or accept anything less than the best life has to offer, unconditional love.

Will you love unconditionally?

Today, another interesting article about unconditional love.

Unconditional Love – Easier Said Than Done By Irene Conlan

It seems appropriate that in this week before Valentine’s Day we take a look at love and relationships. Loving and being love is, after all, what we all long for, isn’t it? Today I’d like to talk about “Unconditional Love” because we throw that term around so much.

The other day a friend of mind told me about her finace and how wonderful he is. “I love him unconditionally,” she effused, but later on in the conversation she listed some of the things he’ll need to change after they are married. Oops! That isn’t unconditional, is it?

The love we’re not talking about is best described by David Hawkins:

“What the world generally refers to as love is an intense emotional condition combining physical attraction, possessiveness, control, addiction. eroticism and novelty.It’s usually fragile and fluctuating, waxing and waning with varying conditions. When frustrated this emotion often reveals an underlying anger and dependency that it had masked. That love can turn to hate is a common perception, but here, an addictive sentimentality is likely what is being spoken about, rather than Love.There probably never was actual love in such a relationship for Hate stems from Pride, not Love.” (Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, Hay House, 2002, pp. 89-90)

Unconditional love is just that – unconditional. No conditions. No “I’d love you if only… ” In terms of romantic love it means I love you even if you throw your clothes on the floor or leave hair in the sink. It means I love you if you become ill or lose your job, get old or fat, become crabby or forgetful. I love you even if you’re no longer “arm candy” or I don’t agree with your politics. It means I love you if you snore, bite your nails, or have other annoying habits. It means I love you even if the thrill is gone and romance has gotten lost in the reality of paying bills, raising children, and being a participant in life. It means I’ve always got your back and I want only the best for you.

Few of us can love like that even though we say we do. We are human beings, each with our own agenda, abilities, likes and dislikes, personality, intelligence and emotions and, a lasting relationship require a mutual coming to terms with all of these.

Hawkins is talking about a level of consciousness, an energy level, a state of being, a love that doesn’t fluctuate and isn’t changed by circumstances. It is all inclusive and has no barriers – in fact it removes barriers. It “focuses on the goodness of life in all its expressions and augments that which is positive.” Unconditional love dissolves negativity and positively affects all around it. Hawkins states that only about.4% of the world’s population reaches this level and truly loves unconditionally.

When I love you unconditionally I look beyond the externals and see the essence of who you are. I see indescribable beauty there and I can declare, “Wow! What’s not to love.”

Irene Conlan has a masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. She practices holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, Az and the Phoenix metropolitan area. Irene can be found at http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Irene_Conlan

TODAY’S TIP: As with other things, practice makes perfect. Feel the love.

Does it get easier?

Today I present another interesting view on unconditional love.

Unconditional Love – What Is It? By Gary Wonning

Unconditional Love

Many think unconditional love is an unattainable state. They feel it is only some thing a puppy can display, it is not possible for a human to show unconditional love.

Nothing can be farther from the truth, we all show unconditional love in many ways, maybe not with the ones closest to us, but regardless of whether or not we treat the ones around us with unconditional love, that is what brought those individuals to us in the first place. The way we treat them and they treat us is just all parties trying to, in many different ways, subconsciously understand the concept.

Unconditional love goes beyond the constraints of time and space and brings whomever you love into your presence. They may not always appear before us in flesh and blood, but they are connected to us through our hearts and souls. We learn many lessons and have many joys because of the ones we bring to us through unconditional love.

We all want the ones we love the most to be near us in the physical form, however this isn’t always the case. Often times we have lessons to learn, and changes in the physical form that requires us to be separate from our soul mates. When the time is right, you will be reunited with the “One”. Just be patient and your time will come. As soon as your, and their lessons are learned, then you can be reunited with them.

Time and space are an illusion, they are always near to you, just a thought away. Our journey back to the source is inevitable, it is only a matter of time until we journey back to the ones we love.

Like attracts like,and although it is said that often times opposites attract, that attraction never lasts, as soon as the novelty wears off, the attraction fades,and we no longer have anything to experience from that relationship. Normally those types of relationships only reaffirm our core values and make our beliefs stronger.

Even the person or persons that show us the most animosity and conflict are displaying unconditional love, they are giving of their time and energy to show us what we really value. Plus, they come into our lives as a reflection of what we are projecting, as soon as one realizes this fact, and we change our way of thinking, they no longer have any power over us and they will vanish from our reality. They will then go on to others with a like mind, eventually evolving themselves to a more unconditional love state of mind.

My blog contains many articles based on the common sense of my ancestors, much of which has been lost in today’s world. http://www.uncommoncommonsense.com – For a view of some of my travels; http://www.travelnsnap.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gary_Wonning

TODAY’S TIP: Remember that everything that happens to us is to help us learn and grow.

Do you see unconditional around you?

Today’s article is longer than normal but has some good food for thought.

What Does Unconditional Love Really Mean? By Roy Klienwachter

Unconditional love means unconditional freedom. Love and freedom are two of those words that are interchangeable. Freedom of choice is unconditional love-
unconditional freedom. Choice is another of those words that are interchangeable with Love and freedom.

For the most part, humanity understands little of what the word unconditional means. Unconditional means… “NO CONDITIONS.” This lack of understanding is what has divided man from man, and religion from religion throughout his sojourn in the physical reality. It is again man’s ego trying to grasp the idea, and not being able to surrender to its meaning. It appears to be the nature of humanity to always add conditions to unconditional-let me demonstrate.

The one common thread that I have found weaving through man’s many belief systems is that God is Unconditional Love. I have yet to have anyone tell me that this is not so, and it seems to be accepted by all belief systems that are centered on a creator. If you are in disagreement with this statement then there would probably be no sense in you reading any further.

Now it must be made clear in this example that unconditional means that there are no conditions to God’s Love. Do you understand and agree, that unconditional means no conditions apply?” Be sure because it gets more difficult to differentiate as we move along.

Do you understand that if there was a condition to God’s love, then God would be giving conditional love? Conditional love is not the same as unconditional love as described in the preceding paragraph. I have never heard or read anywhere that God gives conditional love, have you?

Love and freedom are the same; if there is a condition to freedom, then it is not unconditional. Freedom is given from unconditional love. Freedom of choice is the same thing as unconditional love-they are all the same thing. I know this is repetitive, but if you can follow this understanding, and accept it, then there is something further you need to understand.

The following concept is extremely difficult for most people to understand. Because love, freedom, and choice are unconditional, there can be no PUNISHMENT associated with them; once again-no punishments. Here is where the so called enlightened fall by the wayside. They cannot accept any of these things without the recourse to punishment. You can practice unconditional love, unconditional freedom, and unconditional choice with no punishments! God will never punish you! Retribution is a lie, it was all made up. Only Man will punish you. Anyone who tells you different, is not coming from unconditional love. They live in fear of you accepting these things. They do not understand what unconditional means.

Most all who have read the first half of this article will not have problems with it until they get to the “No Punishment” part. At this point man’s ego takes over, and will try to reason his way out of agreeing with the concept of unconditional. He will begin to say, yes I understand what unconditional means-but! Then he will start; you cannot have people running around doing whatever they want. There is a price (condition) for freedom. You can not freely love anyone you want, that is immoral (conditional). Our choices are limited by are colour, sexual orientation, creed, age, sex, and geographic region (conditional).

If you buy into these conditions, then you are in direct contradiction with what you may have agreed with when you started reading this article. If you didn’t agree to the first part, then you have read farther then you were supposed to. You were warned! For those who do not agree that God is unconditional love, and don’t understand the contradiction; let me explain. There seems to be a paradox here. Can unconditional love and conditional love exist at the same time? The answer is yes, because we have forgotten our heritage, we have moved away from unconditional. God gives unconditional love; man lives in conditional love!

This is where the contradiction comes from. We understand the love of God, and we feel inferior to it. We can not except that unconditional love is who we really are, and therefore apply conditions to our love and freedom. We project our human emotions and feelings onto God, effectively insulating ourselves from the reality of unconditional love. We attach certain conditions to his love. If we do not follow his will, we will be punished by him as we would punish those that would not do our will. Man’s love, freedom, and choice are conditional because we have always had freedom of choice, to choose and accept those conditions which are conditional. It is paradoxal and appropriate that humanity should set conditions for itself, in direct contradiction to what God represents, and expected from his creations-that life is free to live as it desires without limitation. It is the natural course of all living things to evolve to the next best version of itself, so the natural tendency is to survive, not destroy.

Who is it that is teaching us about conditional love? Who or what is actually separating us from the unconditional love of God? The clue has been in the Newspaper’s recently and has been manifesting itself for weeks. I’m in Canada, and it is August 08, 2003-the date I have written this article. For weeks now there has been a major controversy about legalized gay marriages. Who do you think is at the forefront of all the objections? Who is it that is using fear tactics to persuade politicians and supporters to change their policies? Who has come out, and said that they fear for the souls of those supporters?

They are the same profits that have for centuries, taught us of Gods conditional, unconditional love. They have taught us that God’s love is unconditional, and that it must be accepted as blind faith-and yet they have set down punishments for practicing unconditional-so in effect they have made unconditional, conditional. I don’t blame you if you are confused here; who wouldn’t be. They have used fear, punishment, and death to implant this lie into our belief systems. They have been as the false profit. The institute does not correctly reflect God’s love, nor do the profits and teachers-they don’t even come close to teaching it. Their interpretations reflect only their fear that they share with the rest of humanity.

As you reason these contradictions, listen to yourself. Are you coming from unconditional love, or are you reacting from fear? Whatever you now believe, you will have chosen it from unconditional love, because that is your true nature. It should be your reality. You have unconditional freedom to live conditionally, in conditional love without freedom of choice, if that is what you desire. There is no greater display of divine love.

At this moment try to imagine choosing to live unconditionally, try to choose between the two, conditional or unconditional. And if you chose the later, how would you condition yourself to accepting it.

Feel the unconditional love as you make a free choice. As you make the choice, you should notice that you are not being punished for it. That may come later, not from God, but from those who would denounce your choice, and who are living in the realm of conditionality. If nothing else, understand the contradiction. But also understand that who you really are is free. Do not fear for your soul, your soul can take care of itself, and of course that is exactly what it is doing. It is the BLIND FAITH (which is not surrender) that leads you into darkness, when you do not question it. Faith is never blind; it is an essential step in the process of knowing.

Not taking responsibility for your own salvation has given power to those who would use your vulnerability to keep you on the straight and narrow-not yours, but theirs.

The human ability to see black and call it white, is a real blessing in a world of contradictions that require us to make a choice, and believe nothing else. There is no one that is more blind than he who will not see. This has led us into the notion of right and wrong; you are wrong, I am right. We both cannot be right-right?

As you learn to accept the choices of others not being as your own, you will free yourself from the necessity of making judgments about them, and you will be practicing unconditional love. Your new found love for yourself and humanity will set you free. It will be another major step into expanding your enlightenment. To truly free humanity, mankind must see all aspects of itself as being free; as being created from absolute unconditional love. In the greater picture, all things are perfect as they are. It is not necessary to like someone as they are, but it is necessary to love them unconditionally as they are.

The bottom line is that you cannot live your life unconditionally because you live in a physical world that is conditional. However, it doesn’t stop you from experiencing unconditional love. Absolute unconditional love is the very nature of the creator-which you are-and it is only when you are focused on yourself as Creator that you will experience unconditional love.

(revised 03/2010)

Roy E. Klienwachter is an ordained minister, light worker, writer and author of Spiritual New Age Wisdom books written in simple language with the eloguence of Zen wisdom.

http://www.klienwachter.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roy_Klienwachter

TODAY’S TIP: Contemplate the subject of unconditional love.

Can you feel it?

This week will be devoted to love, more specific unconditional love. Most people that I know have a distorted view of love. There are many reasons why their views are distorted.

Throughout history those in power have manipulated the way people think to serve their own purpose. This manipulation has been done by those who controlled our biggest institutions; such as government, church, and education. Their sole purpose was to give themselves the power to control other peoples lives. You have probably heard the saying that power corrupts.

Can you imagine a world where people live in unconditional love? Who would be there to fight the wars? Who would be there to be used as slaves? Who would there be to give those in power the satisfaction of being able to play God in controlling the lives of the little people?

This conditioning goes deep into the DNA of the following generations. We are taught that love is conditional. Those conditions depend on the times and who is in power. Today many are taught they are supposed to love Jesus but can hate Muslims. We can love those who believe and act as we do, but it is OK to hate those who are different.

We are taught that love is supposed to make us happy. So we say that we love another as long as that person makes us happy. They make us happy by doing what we want them to do.

How many times have you heard someone say that they no longer love their spouse or they fell out of love. Did they ever really love in the first place? I suggest that they did not. True unconditional love cannot die.

I was once in a relationship with a woman who decided that she needed time to be alone. She told me that she wanted to not see me for a while and that included no phones calls or emails. I respected her wishes and did not try to contact her until she was ready. A couple of week later I get an email from her telling me that since I had not called or stopped by when I was in the area to ask how she was doing that I must not care about her and I probably wanted the relationship to end.

Is that what Love is all about? I think not, the fact that I loved her enough to be willing to allow her the space to do what she needed to do for herself made no impression what so ever. That is the way most of us love.

Unconditional love is loving without expectations and whether they give you what you want or not. It is being able to feel the same whether you are with that person or half way around the world and that person is with someone else.

Most of us have heard that we cannot love another more than we love ourselves. That is a big part of the problem. We don’t know how to love ourselves. We may even feel that we are not worthy of love because we have been conditioned to believe that.

This week I encourage you to think about what unconditional love means and cultivate the courage to live your life in unconditional love for everyone and all things.

TODAY’S TIP: Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself: Do you love the person looking back at you? Be honest.

Who do you love?

There has been more sorrow in our personal lives caused by our misconceptions of love than anything I can think of. Our concepts of love have been distorted by the conditioning of our society and confusion about love from our families.

Many of us use love, or at least we try, to our advantage. This is not love. Our ego may tell us we are in love, but how can we be if we don’t know what it is.

We go into relationships with expectations that they will fulfill us and make our lives work. When this doe not happen we are lost, many cannot find their way back. We carry the bitterness and hurt from one relationship to the next.

The main reason we have so much trouble with our relationships is because we lack self esteem and do not know who we are. In order to live our lives in loving and fulfilling relationships we much know and respect ourselves.

In our world today this is not as easy as it seems. By the time we are adults we have lost our individuality and have little idea of what life is all about.

Many look outside themselves for some form of satisfaction or something to define who they are. Some believe that the more things they have the more important they are. Others believe that there is someone out there, a soul mate or other, who will fulfill them and make them whole.

For this reason it is all important to get in touch with yourself before looking for that perfect relationship. Coming to terms with who you are and learning to be at peace with yourself and by yourself is the only true path to that perfect relationship.

When you know who you are and realize that you don’t need anyone to be happy, it is then that that special person will come into your life. That special person who knows who they are and does not need to lean on someone else to be happy.

Your relationship with others will reflect your relationship with self. The more you love and respect yourself the more you can love and respect others, and the more others will love and respect you.

Things that are meant to be just flow. This is true of relationships and well as other things in our lives. If it feels good it is probably good. If it does not feel good you need to take a look and why. It may be that your relationship with yourself is lacking.

TODAY’S TIP: Do not be afraid to admit that a relationship no longer serves you. You are not a failure because of it.

Can you let go and love?

In a perfect world there is only love. Here is an article by someone who thinks love is the basis of everything.

Love – The Basis of Life By Nick Eberle

We all like to love. The whole world exists in love. We come with love and go with love. In between we live with love. Love is the basis of everything.

A well-known South Indian saint once said, “Not only do good things happen out of love, but even so-called bad, harsh, or violent things.” War, for example. Why are there wars? Someone “loved” his own country more. He wanted his country expanded-to rule over other countries. This is misplaced love. Love misplaced or used improperly can bring wars-can cause crimes.

Even in the love between husband and wife. If love is misunderstood that start ” loving” too much-they will end up in the hospital. There should be a limitation to love, and a proper understanding of it. Love should not end in difficulties. If parents lover their children too much, they may not guide them properly. It is the duty of parents to use there experience for this. That is why children are handed over to them, given into there care. The responsibility of parents who really love their children is to show them the way. Children are inexperienced. They are still learning they must not be allowed the freedom to accumulate all kinds of difficulties. “Free: children get stranded; they cannot get out of there confusion. Once they understand things, then you set them free. “We have given you some basic knowledge, now it is your duty, now you can carry on.” Really loving parents guide their children as a duty. It should not be a blind love. It is our duty to love.

Much can be said about the sacred term of love. It should not be considered the lower physical sensual side alone. It has a great purpose. We cannot deny that physical and sensual side, but should not stop there. Love should go up and up-until you learn to to love your neighbor as your own self. Let us make a resolution: I will not bring harm to anybody by using my love in an improper way. Let my love bring good, and good alone to everybody. Let us all march towards that universal love based on Self-realization. Let that be our resolution today.

Om Shanthi, Swami Satchidananda

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_Eberle

TODAY’S TIP: Fill your heart with love. It will make you feel good and effect those around you.

Is your world filled with love?

All relationships are not meant to last a lifetime. Knowing when it is time to leave and having the courage to do so is a blessing.

Learning To Let Go With Love By Priya Shah

One of the hardest things for any person, man or woman, is letting go of a relationship that’s not meant to be. We are often attached to the illusion that this person is “the One” for us, and that if we don’t have him or her, we’ll never find somebody new.

Holding on to disappointment, hurt, blame, anger, resentment, and bitterness, we convince ourselves that “all men are jerks” or “all women are bitches.”

If you’ve just got out of a relationship and are harbouring a lot of resentment against your partner or against the opposite sex, now is NOT the time to start dating again. Your anger and bitterness will poison even the most loving relationship.

When we hang on to baggage from past relationships, we end up projecting our pain on to others in our lives – our families, children and, eventually, our new partners.

Our emotional baggage is usually rooted in our relationships with our own parents, or in bad relationships we’ve had in the past. We have to lighten our load and heal our pain before we can love again.

Some of the practices you need to cultivate in order to heal yourself are:

• Radical Personal Responsibility: Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship, either by taking inappropriate action, not acting altogether or expecting too much. Stop blaming your partner. Own your feelings, so you can change them.

• Self-Awareness: Are there patterns that keep repeating in your relationships? Do you have a tendency to get into relationships with abusive people, or become abusive yourself? Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

• Acceptance: Accept yourself and your partner the way you are. Accept the fact that the relationship was not meant to be, that it didn’t work because it was not your highest and best.

• Forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.

• Gratitude: Be grateful that you’re out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you’ve learned from your partner.

• Compassion: Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you’ll become less judgmental.

• Detachment: Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.

• Independence: Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself. Learn to meet your own needs, let go of expectations, and enter a healthy, inter-dependent relationship.

• Optimism: Optimism is not essential, but it makes life so much easier. An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best, can help you bounce back from your loss. Have faith that the best is yet to come.

It takes a lot of tears, hard work, and introspection to break the chains of the past. But it’s worth every moment! The feeling of freedom and contentment that you experience is just awesome.

Getting rid of your anger and hurt will help you stop blaming others for your pain, and allowed you to see your former partner as they really are – a wonderful, sensitive human being with the capacity to love, to care, and to hurt just as deeply as you.

It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.

No time spent in a relationship is ever wasted. Ever experience is a lesson and only when you learn the lesson will you progress to the next level. So stop beating yourself up over all the years you “wasted” with that “loser.”

If it didn’t work, it was probably not meant to be. You can’t force someone to love you, just as you can’t force commitment or marriage. These are stages that should happen naturally, when it feels right for both people.

Contrary to popular opinion (and sad love songs) love is not meant to hurt. If you’re in pain, what you’re experiencing is not love, but attachment or codependence. Too often we fall in love, not with our partner, but with the IDEA of being in love.

It’s best to let go of a relationship that’s causing too much pain. Instead of wallowing in the past and writing your own sad love song, do your inner work, get rid of the anger and disappointment and get on with your life.

Let go of your partner with love, so you can move past your hurt and learn to love again.

Copyright © Priya Florence Shah Priya Florence Shah manages India’s first portal for empowered women and blogs about self-improvement and spirituality. Click here for relationship tips and advice. This article may be reprinted as long as the resource box is left intact and all links are hyperlinked.

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TODAY’S TIP: When the relationship no longer feels good it is time to take a good look at it. If it is time to leave, be honest and have the courage to do so.

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