What have you learned about love?

March 19th, 2010 by admin

“Infantile love follows the principle: ‘I love because I am loved.’
Mature love follows the principle: ‘I am loved because I love.’
Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’
Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’” ~ Erich Fromm

There has been more sorrow in our personal lives caused by our misconceptions of love than anything I can think of. Our concepts of love have been distorted by the conditioning of our society and confusion about love from our families.

Many of us use love, or at least we try, to our advantage. This is not love. Our ego may tell us we are in love, but how can we be if we don’t know what it is.

We go into relationships with expectations that they will fulfill us and make our lives work. When this doe not happen we are lost, many cannot find their way back. We carry the bitterness and hurt from one relationship to the next.

The main reason we have so much trouble with our relationships is because we lack self esteem and do not know who we are. In order to live our lives in loving and fulfilling relationships we much know and respect ourselves.

In our world today this is not as easy as it seems. By the time we are adults we have lost our individuality and have little idea of what life is all about.

Many look outside themselves for some form of satisfaction or something to define who they are. Some believe that the more things they have the more important they are. Others believe that there is someone out there, a soul mate or other, who will fulfill them and make them whole.

For this reason it is all important to get in touch with yourself before looking for that perfect relationship. Coming to terms with who you are and learning to be at peace with yourself and by yourself is the only true path to that perfect relationship.

When you know who you are and realize that you don’t need anyone to be happy, it is then that that special person will come into your life. That special person who knows who they are and does not need to lean on someone else to be happy.

Your relationship with others will reflect your relationship with self. The more you love and respect yourself the more you can love and respect others, and the more others will love and respect you.

Things that are meant to be just flow. This is true of relationships and well as other things in our lives. If it feels good it is probably good. If it does not feel good you need to take a look and why. It may be that your relationship with yourself is lacking.

TODAY’S TIP: Do not be afraid to admit that a relationship no longer serves you. You are not a failure because of it.

Can you let go and love?